ONLY FOR YOU was inspired by this scene from Jean Barsness' new book, Forever Amazed: So glad He asked for everything. 

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Amazing! This will be the day! And I will rejoice in God who delivers!

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But, interestingly enough, it was when I read the following verse, that it seemed as if God had changed the font. He had not only changed the font but also the font size. It was as though He had bolded and capitalized each letter! I slowly read verse 5:

     A father to the fatherless a defender of widows,

     Is God in His holy habitation!

In that very moment, at 6:00 am on a Sunday morning, I knew that I was a widow and that my 2 children, ages 10 and 8 were fatherless. I had shared all the other promises, but this one was too painful! Throughout the morning, I kept it to myself and pondered the reality of verse 5 in my heart.

Then the phone rang. It was 3 o’clock that Sunday afternoon when the Chief of Police in the American Canal Zone called. He requested that immediately I come to the police headquarters. The ambience in the room changed to wild hope. Everyone was convinced that Gil had been found and anticipated his soon arrival “back home.”

Memories are vivid of friends from Argentina and my brother-in-law who accompanied me. I will never forget how I sat alone in the back seat and quietly prayed: “Lord, give me the strength and courage to hear the message that YOU gave me at 6 a.m. this morning.” God would be a father to the fatherless and a judge and defender of widows.

As I stepped out of the van and onto the path that led to the Balboa Police Headquarters, I was met by a large police officer smoking a cigar. He looked at me and announced, “The news is not good.”

As I was led into the office of the Chief of Police, without a word he picked up a ring and a watch and asked: “Is this your husband’s ring? Is this your husband’s watch?”

I agreed that they both belonged to my husband.

“YOUR HUSBAND IS DEAD,” he announced. His body had just been found on the banks of Panama Canal with eleven stab wounds and mutilated beyond description.

And then in the quietness of that moment, I responded: “My husband is now with His Lord and Savior, the One whom he loved and served.” My mouth went dry and I asked for a glass of water. And that was all. There was nothing more to say. There were no other words. And my mouth was so dry!

Later that week, I learned that the Chief of Police often described me as “that woman without a single emotional bone in her entire body. She didn’t fall apart or become unglued. She only asked for a glass of water.” He explained that there is something desperately wrong with that woman. Later in the week, one of the Christian Canal Zone employees explained to him that the reason why “that woman” did not become unglued, hysterical, or fall apart was the evidence of the power of God in answer to prayer, as literally hundreds of Christians were praying for her. I still stand in awe and total amazement of what it means to belong to the family of God.